What It Means To Be A Grownup

Last night they held the auditions at the local theater for the new season. I went and auditioned, because i had so much fun acting in the play last year. Unfortunately, if I am selected for a part I'm afraid I will have to decline. Because, being a part of the cast is as much of a commitment as a full time job.
I have other responsibilities that take priority over fun, like supporting myself.

I guess that is what it means to be a grownup.

The Grownup
Rainer Maria Rilke

All this stood upon her and was the world
and stood upon her with all its fear and grace
as trees stand, growing straight up, imageless
yet wholly image, like the Ark of God,
and solemn, as if imposed upon a race.

As she endured it all: bore up under
the swift-as-flight, the fleeting, the far-gone,
the inconceivably vast, the still-to-learn,
serenely as a woman carrying water
moves with a full jug. Till in the midst of play,
transfiguring and preparing for the future,
the first white veil descended, gliding softly

over her opened face, almost opaque there,
never to be lifted off again, and somehow
giving to all her questions just one answer:
In you, who were a child once-in you.

UGH!

On the other hand I am very enthusiastic about  my  latest  job
& on February 14th my divorce will have been
final for a whole year. 

The old life is in it's final death throes. I've finally cut  it loose.

It's just me & me alone, baby

facing the future...

We'll Never Know What happened to Lisa...

Well, that last post turned into an interesting experiment. I decided I needed to delete it, though. In case I ever do decide to run for Vice President or Mayor, i don't want any backlashes over something I put up as a blog post.

Seriously though, in reading about the Mayor of Portland & his troubles video here I'm reminded that public figures are always under scrutiny & every part of their lives are media fodder.

I consider that I am very forgiving of peoples past mistakes & I have no desire to delve into or condemn their sex life. I am also very fortunate that I have a spotless record, not even a traffic ticket. I did spend a few of my teenage years in reform school but I have never tried to hide that from anyone. Personally, I think it might have made me a more compassionate person.

One thing I learned by running for public office & being in the public eye ( albeit in a small way) once you step into those shoes, it's a whole other perspective. I'd encourage everyone to try it just once. Maybe we'd be a little less harsh on our politicians.

I Would Rather believe in Flying Cars

It's sometimes hard to find something new to post about, or find a subject that hasn't already been beaten to death.

One subject that I have been increasingly fascinated with & a subject that sparks my imagination is pondering the future of humankind.

As a secular humanist, I am not a doomsayer, but an optimist & I believe there is plenty to be optimistic about regarding our future... it just depends on how you look at it...There are a couple of bloggers* in my blogsphere that have similar visions of the future based on science & (to be honest), science fiction.

I find their views compelling because I want to see the future as something other then religious doom & gloom...I believe the current doom & gloom apocalyptic vision is a product of an outdated prophecy, perpetrated long ago by ancient & primitive religions that want us to think that humankind will ultimately fail. There is no reason we have to believe fables handed down to us from at least 2000 years ago. Why not believe in the potential of humankind to rise above the obstacles? I would rather believe in a future with flying cars.

*You know who you are.

Old Indian legend?

Ewanua & her kittens

This is a variation of a supposed local Indian legend about Face Rock in Bandon Oregon. taken from the Bandon's visitor guide:

Legend from the Nah-So-Mah Tribe has it that Ewanua was visiting tribes on the coast with her father, Chief Siskiyou, and in celebration of their visit, a great potlatch took place.

The local tribes were in great fear of Seatka, the evil spirit of the ocean, but Ewanua and those in her tribe, who lived in the mountains, were not afraid.

After the feast, while others lay sleeping, Ewanua carried her dog, Komax, and her cat and kittens in a basket and wandered down to the ocean.

She danced and played with delight, and soon placed her pets in their basket on the beach and swam into the ocean, far from shore. Unaware of any danger, she was suddenly grabbed by a fearsome creature that came out of the water.

Komax, knowing his mistress was in danger, swam out to her with the basket in his mouth and bit Seatka. Howling with rage, the monster kicked off the dog and threw the cat and kittens far out to sea. He tried to get the princess to look at him, but she refused, knowing his power was in his eyes.

Now, the beautiful Ewanua lies in the ocean, looking skyward, refusing to look at Seatka, who sits nearby. Her beloved Komax and her cat and kittens lie to the west, waiting in vain for their mistress to arise.

I always have a little trouble with this legend seeming very authentic seeing that from all accounts domestic cats landed on the East coast in the 1600's & then it took them a while to make it out to the west coast. I figure face rock has been around a long long time & you would think an old Indian legend about it would NOT be recent enough to incorporate parts of fairly recent history into it.
On the other hand, considering the fact that the local Indians had no system for writing down history or recording stories & legends other then orally & how quickly the local Indian populations were decimated & demoralized by disease & massacre after the Europeans arrived* it's not surprising there isn't much ancient history to draw on.


Wikipedia has an interesting & extensive article on the subject of legends, here.

In this version of the legend she is carrying a basket of raccoons. That sounds a little more plausible, eh?

*Lewis & Clark arrived on the shores of the Pacific ocean in 1805. In 1856 the Rogue river Indians in Curry county finally responded with violence & a general uprising to the outrages perpetrated against them by white settlers. This brought the wrath of the settlers & the American army on all the Indian populations left in the Pacific Northwest. Survivors were promptly shipped off to reservations.

Happy New Year & Good By to Second Hand Smoke!

My blogger friend Prash in Hong Kong wrote a good post on the subject of new years resolutions.
He says:
"Over the years, I noticed that people’s New Year’s resolutions are most often things that they detested to do but got to do that is why these New Year’s resolutions usually die out faster than a virus being exposed to the heat of the sun."

This year the state of Oregon instituted a law to coincide with our piquant(?) for making new years resolutions.
On new years day, 2009, Oregon became the 21st state in the US to extend an indoor-smoking ban to ALL public buildings including bars, taverns, nightclubs, and restaurants. Also, smoking areas OUTSIDE of public buildings must be at least 10 feet away from entrances.
This law went into affect New Years Day.
Consequently, many of my smoking friends have made new year resolutions to stop smoking.
I hope they can keep those resolutions as I think smoking is a vile & deadly habit*.
It will be nice to be able to go out & have a drink & not come home smelling like an ashtray & have to take a shower just because I spent one hour in a nightclub!
The New Yorker magazine has a humorous take on personal ads aimed at smokers: here.
Example: Lonely ex-barfly in severe withdrawal needs to mooch smokes, preferably off ex-bartender. You bring the bar nuts, cocktail napkins, and swizzle sticks, I’ll tell the dirty jokes until the coffin nails run out or I fall off the stool...

*Gross! Puke & Throw-up!!