Want & Need, The Razors Edge
(Sorry, no photo. I googled razors edge images, & all that popped up were references to Pitbulls, the band ACDC, & some weird hate group.)
I've been blogging since November 2005 . I was married when I started & now I'm not. I was self employed when I started & now I work for some one else.
In 2006 it seemed I was a disciplined blogger. It seemed I could write thoughtfully and copiously about anything... books I was reading, my hobbies, my family, etc, etc.... Blogging & the internet were my focus.
In 2007- 09 my love of blogging took a different turn and I ramped it to a more emotional level.
I had my share of internet lovers...& diddled around with cybersex.y pictures, etc...
In my blogging career, I've started up 6 blogs, 3 anonymous blogs for reasons known only to myself and 3 legit blogs. This is the only blog I have active at the moment.
It's not really noticeable, but lately I trimmed the dead wood from my blogger buddy links that were no longer applicable to my blogging experience.
I could do more trimming but some non-applicable links I hang on to for nostalgia.
(Or maybe... some times I just get stuck on something & can't let it go, like beating a dead horse or sucking on a dry teat. )
In 2011 what I do now is live in the real world more then the blog world. Frankly, I have to support myself.
I'm reading a book by Sidney Poitier "Life Beyond Measure, Letters To My Great Grand Daughter", in which he gives his grand daughter advice and reflects on his own life and the choices he made, good and bad.
I'm not that far into the book yet but one topic so far has given me pause to think :
Poitier writes about living a life caught between want & need & how he lived like that for many years, starting in his impoverished childhood, & when he was 16 years old living alone and washing dishes in N.Y.C. & into his acting career. He talked about living on the razor's edge of both of those choices & the many times he could have fallen into the abyss, but was saved by fate or luck.
What he was stressing was striking the right balance between the two. One thing I've never been able to do very successfully. I think I still live on the razor's edge of want & need.
How about you?
posted by Rita @ 6:35 PM
24 Comments
24 Comments:
I'm rather fortunate in that pretty much all of my needs are being met. For wants, I'm continuing to work on trying to be satisfied with what I already have.
Phil
I admire that.
I don't know if could ever be satisfied. Even if I had my all needs met. Perhaps, this is my fatal flaw.
I had a measure of security when I was married, you could say my needs were met. I didn't have to worry about money, bills, or a roof over my head.
It wasn't enough.
I never thought I'd find a job that I love but I have. Unfortunately, there isn't a lot of security in it. Right now, I'd pick the job I love over another one that would pay more money.
Will it be luck or fate that keeps me from falling into the abyss?
"Will it be luck or fate that keeps me from falling into the abyss?"
What "abyss" is that?
You make your own "luck" and fate is determined by the "luck" you make.
You're an interesting person, Rita.
Absolutely, and unfortunately.
But I've made the mistake of entrusting my desire to others.
I'm just relieved to see I'm still on the list :-)
Sure, there are things I would want but I don't invest much time in thinking about it, especially if it's unattainable. I see so many people around who are never happy with what they have and I've never quite understood that. I'm very happy with what I have and of course if I won the lottery I could do things on a grander scale but don't think I'd be any happier than I am now because I truly am happy and that doesn't come from stuff.
My biggest balancing act comes from relationships and how to try and make things as equitable as possible between my boyfriend and children and also meeting my "needs" in there. It's not always easy, and everyone is not always happy but that is the story of life, isn't it?
gideon says:
What abyss is that?
The abyss is called failure. To clarify, it's caused by maybe giving in to destructive impulses or not hedging my bets enough(no I don't gamble, one vice I don't have)or it could be just down right bad circumstances.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not whining about life though, just wondering. As a humanist one thing I adhere to is taking responsibility. My motto is, "When you screw up,own it and move on."
You make your own "luck" and fate is determined by the "luck" you make. I'm not superstitious enough to believe in "luck" in a sense. I do believe in circumstance though and unforeseen things happening. Like if I'm standing around & some invisible microscopic piece of radiation from who knows where lands on me & worms its way into my body & I get cancer, with no insurance or any real back up, then I could be screwed. I know that. Could I be trying to avert that potential disaster? Perhaps I should be looking for a government job that has health benefits, perhaps I should of done that years ago. Perhaps I should of stayed married (ugh). Those are choices I could of made or choices I can still make.
"fate"...well that's a word that's meant to be." Ha ha!
harry
Clarify what you mean, your answer is too cryptic.
another girl
Are you kidding! After what we've been through together. Even if you died I'd keep you on my blog roll. I promise... ;)
It's not always easy, and everyone is not always happy but that is the story of life, isn't it? It's all about your priorities. Don't short change the people who are going to matter later. *hint* it might not be the boyfriend.
Rita, don't worry, I know it might not be. That will remain to be seen. Sometimes he wins sometimes they win. I try to be as equitable as possible.
P.S. Really? What have we been through? :-)
I've been on that razors edge. I have sometimes wondered if I might "loose it". Then, I just figured out how to say "Fuck it"
Another girl
Sorry I didn't mean to sound so big sisterly.
I never had to balance boyfriend with children. I'm thinking, how complicated that could be. So far since I've been divorced, my biggest problem is balancing boyfriend with work. So far work always wins.
I remember when I first starting blogging, you were getting a divorce...then there was that nut stalking you...then I was getting a divorce...& hey we are both still here. :)
mac
Then, I just figured out how to say "Fuck it"
I'm very good at finding distractions.
Maybe, it's the same thing?
Rueful sentimentality is a sign of old age creeping up, there, girl. It can also be a symptom of too much indulgence in the spirits. Bad combination!
Time to set those priorities and stick to them... whatever those are. I could suggest one in particular, but, well... you know... given the place and the company and all...
It kinda helps knowing that even if you've totally botched this shot at life, there's always the next one... know what I mean?
I think you do.
;-)
rita,
It's all good. Nothing wrong with being big sisterly especially when we know how some of our "species" act when men are involved. I'm not one of those types. I have always said no man will come before my children and I still mean that. Their well-being is priority number 1.
"know what I mean?
I think you do."
Of course I Know what you mean.
The thing is Gideon that we have such totally different mindsets, world views and philosophy's about life and death that your advice is null and void.
"The thing is Gideon that we have such totally different mindsets, world views and philosophy's about life and death that your advice is null and void."
And so your world view is working so well for you that you can afford idle musings about it? Are you looking for answers or just talking to hear yourself talk?
Have you considered that ofttimes good advice lays outside one's own biased and narrow viewpoint?
The classic cliché of the proselytizer -- introspection must, per se, indicate dissatisfaction with one's fundamental world-view.
If, on the other hand, the target is not introspective, the line of attack is: "How can you be sure you're satisfied with the way you are if you've never thought about it?"
Either way, it doesn't follow.
Infidel
I've been down this road with the religious...It's Pie in the Sky or nothing.
Have you considered that ofttimes good advice lays outside one's own biased and narrow viewpoint?
Gideon, have you ever taken that advice yourself?
"Gideon, have you ever taken that advice yourself?"
Yes, though it hasn't been a frequent necessity. I was more inclined toward confusion whilst still in the grip of socialist/anti-theist teachings on origins and society. A natural reaction, you understand, when force-fed an excess of bullshit.
Is answering a question with a question your way of feigning emotional and intellectual security?
I was more inclined toward confusion whilst still in the grip of socialist/anti-theist teachings on origins and society.
Now you have all the answers!
Speaking of intellectual and emotional security...maybe we should be discussing intellectual and emotional stability, reading the rants over at your blog, I must seriously question yours. ;)
"...reading the rants over at your blog, I must seriously question yours."
Prove me wrong, then you can question all you like.
:)
Me try to disprove a persons pet conspiracy theory?
Never!
T.S. Eliot: ":human kind cannot bear very much reality.
Time past and time future
What might have been and what has been point to one end, which is always present."
The way I like to look at it, no one is responsible for the state of being we are in or the state of the world we are in, other then ourselves, right now at this moment.
There is not much point in entertaining theories.
Oh, goody! I LOVE quotes!
I suppose you didn't catch the central theme in that quote you made: "Human kind cannot bear very much reality."
Truth is, they don't WISH to bear very much reality, especially when it's incompatible with a preferred mindset, no matter how enslaving that mindset is to one's personal freedom and/or peace of mind.
Of course, unlike most of that which constitutes the evolutionary religion, some theories are based in fact. Like these, for example. Blanket statements of a derogatory nature are simply attempts by small minds to ridicule something that they have chosen to dislike, without having even tried to investigate the matter for themselves.
The fact is that conspiracies have shaped this world and continue to do so. Pointed-headed pseudo-intellects, the stooges of the self-proclaimed "elite" go around decrying truth to make themselves and their masters look good and their bizarre beliefs sound credible.
Here's a quote for you, see if you can find something wrong with this one:
"Today, America would be outraged if U.N. troops entered Los Angeles to restore order. Tomorrow they will be grateful! This is especially true if they were told that there were an outside threat from beyond, whether real or promulgated, that threatened our very existence. It is then that all peoples of the world will plead to deliver them from this evil. The one thing every man fears is the unknown. When presented with this scenario, individual rights will be willingly relinquished for the guarantee of their well-being granted to them by the World Government." Dr. Henry Kissinger, Bilderberger Conference, Evans, France, 1991.
That scenario sound vaguely familiar to you, these post 9/11 days?
How about this one:
"No one will enter the New World Order unless he or she will make a pledge to worship Lucifer. No one will enter the New Age unless he will take a Luciferian Initiation." David Spangler, Director of Planetary Initiative, United Nations.
Sound like Revelation 13 to you?
Or...
"We shall have world government whether or not you like it, by conquest or consent." Statement by Council on Foreign Relations (CFR) member James Warburg to The Senate Foreign Relations Committee on February 17th, l950.
Warburg was a big honcho in world affairs, kiddo. Sounds like you got no say in anything, the way he talked.
Here's one for you, personally, Rita...
"Civilization is a conspiracy. Modern life is the silent compact of comfortable folk to keep up pretenses." John Buchan
Just the tip of the iceberg that's going to sink your Titanic, girl. Oh, and did you hear the truth about THAT story?
Never mind.
Truth is, they don't WISH to bear very much reality, especially when it's incompatible with a preferred mindset, no matter how enslaving that mindset is to one's personal freedom and/or peace of mind.
I would say this is often true.
As for the implications of the rest of your quotes and comments, I'll take my chances.
Just popping by to see if you're still out there somewhere. Regarding this post, I recently saw a John Cleese movie called Clockwise. The ending needed another take, I think, to make it work the way it was supposed to. I mention it here for the best line in the movie.
Cleese has just run after an automobile under ridiculous circumstances and failed to catch it before it hit the main road. As he is attempting to catch his breath, he says,
"It's not the despair. I could live with the despair. It's the HOPE!"
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