What It Means To Be A Grownup

Last night they held the auditions at the local theater for the new season. I went and auditioned, because i had so much fun acting in the play last year. Unfortunately, if I am selected for a part I'm afraid I will have to decline. Because, being a part of the cast is as much of a commitment as a full time job.
I have other responsibilities that take priority over fun, like supporting myself.

I guess that is what it means to be a grownup.

The Grownup
Rainer Maria Rilke

All this stood upon her and was the world
and stood upon her with all its fear and grace
as trees stand, growing straight up, imageless
yet wholly image, like the Ark of God,
and solemn, as if imposed upon a race.

As she endured it all: bore up under
the swift-as-flight, the fleeting, the far-gone,
the inconceivably vast, the still-to-learn,
serenely as a woman carrying water
moves with a full jug. Till in the midst of play,
transfiguring and preparing for the future,
the first white veil descended, gliding softly

over her opened face, almost opaque there,
never to be lifted off again, and somehow
giving to all her questions just one answer:
In you, who were a child once-in you.

UGH!

On the other hand I am very enthusiastic about  my  latest  job
& on February 14th my divorce will have been
final for a whole year. 

The old life is in it's final death throes. I've finally cut  it loose.

It's just me & me alone, baby

facing the future...